Watch Out For That Wall

Well, it's happened.  For the first time since Mike started seminary and I started internship, I feel like I have truly hit a wall.  Of course, there have been times up to this point where things have felt hectic or even a little crazy, but this just seems more extreme.  Prologue week, doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, evaluations, meetings, dance, basketball, speech, chapel planning, and more fill the calendar this week.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining (well, maybe a little).  It was inevitable that a week like this would hit us as some point during this time.  Our life, in and of itself, is pretty crazy.  Two seminary students (one a first year student and one intern) and four children with a whole host of activities and needs are not the formula for a stress-free lifestyle.  Yet, up until this point in this journey, I have been able to handle what has come my way.

This week started out with a middle of the night trip to the Emergency Room with our youngest, Joey.  He was struggling to breathe, and it ended up that he had croup and was having an asthma attack on top of it.  Poor guy.  I hate when any of my kids are sick!  So, next, Mike started Prologue Week at seminary with a class that goes 8am-4:30pm with meetings at night.  I have my normal intern schedule with my 6 month evaluation due, and the seminary internship coordinator is meeting with my supervisor and my internship committee this week.  The kids have their normal busy lifestyle of practices, lessons, and more.  As I'm writing this, I realize that it's really not that different of a week.  It's actually a fairly normal chaotic schedule.  So, why do I feel like I'm drowning?

Often, when things get busy or chaotic for me, I shift into the "Martha can do all" mode.  I do everything I need to do to control the situation around me.  I over plan and over organize everything around me.  Let me tell you - this is not a pretty sight to behold because I'm usually a ball of nerves ready to explode at any minute.  This week, however, I don't want to do that.  I can't do that.  I'm tired.  I started off the week with very little sleep, and I'm now beginning to wonder if it was a good thing.  Because I am tired (pretty much exhausted), I no longer have the energy to control everything that is going on around me.  So, I am forced to turn to where I should always turn in the first place - to Christ. 

I know this week seems crazy, but with Christ, I can get through it.  I am reminded that Christ walks with me in all times and in all places.  Yet, it is in my moments of stress and weariness that I am reminded of this truth.  So, while this week may bring me to tears, I know that I can't control everything around me.  I also know though that I can find rest, renewal, and strength to make it through this week from Christ.